


We didn't make it. And that's okay.

by iwasnthere



Category: Liam Payne (Musician), One Direction (Band), Zayn Malik (Musician)
Genre: Bear Payne exists in this fic, Break Up, I was feeling sad, M/M, Mentions of One Direction, but it's not that happy either?, it's not really that sad if you think about it, mentions of their girlfriends, sad fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-05
Updated: 2017-08-05
Packaged: 2018-12-11 12:18:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11714247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iwasnthere/pseuds/iwasnthere
Summary: Zayn sighs. He doesn't even know why he planned to see him. Was there any point? But seeing that he's fixed things with Louis, and things are just civil with Niall and Harry, this was the last thing on his list to check off. Not that they were ever bad, they just weren't, well, good either.(Or the break up fic nobody asked for.)





	We didn't make it. And that's okay.

**Author's Note:**

> I know, I haven't even finished the chapter to GLATOMT but I'm posting this. lol sorry, I was in the mood to write a sad one. sorry for this. I dont even know why I wrote this, I dont usually write canon compliant fics, AUs are my home but - well, this came out.
> 
> ANY MISTAKES ARE MINE.
> 
> PS idk why I love writing in Zayn's POV lol I have to start writing fics with Liam's POV soon but not today. I guess.

Zayn stares at his phone as he waits in a small cafe just out of London. It's hidden, not that popular to a big crowd so he thinks it's safe. He hopes so. It's almost been two years since he's last seen him. Ever since they decided to end things, they both had a silent agreement on just - not ending entirely - but avoiding the communication. It was,  _easier_ , if that was the right term, that way.

He shifts in his seat and fixes his sun glasses. And tries to be as inconspicuous as possible. It's been a while since he's been in London too. People still think he's in LA, and he plans to keep them thinking that way.

_sorry, b there in 5_

Zayn sighs. He doesn't even know why he planned to see him. Was there any point? But seeing that he's fixed things with Louis, and things are just civil with Niall and Harry, this was the last thing on his list to check off. Not that they were ever bad, they just weren't, well, _good_ either.

He sips at his coffee while waiting for Liam. Liam. How long did he avoid that name? How long did he avoid that contact from his phone? Never having the guts to delete it, although, he's quite sure he's changed his number. Zayn never really bothered to check. 

The chimes from the entrance rings through Zayn's ears, causing him to look up. 

And there he is.

He who once used to be Zayn's, well, Zayn's everything. And he who once said Zayn was his in return. He didn't think it would still hurt. Maybe it shouldn't anymore. Maybe it doesn't.

He looks quite the same. He got a hair cut, but Zayn knew that. He saw from his Instagram, apparently, no matter what happens, people still ship them together. This is confirmed by the amount of tags Zayn gets when Liam posts something on his account. It didn't quite bother him anymore, not as much as before. 

Liam's definitely lost weight. Zayn hopes it's in a healthy way. He remembers the times in 2013 when Liam would skip meals to work out because of the stupid tweets he got all because he gained a bit of weight as if that was a problem. Zayn couldn't forget that, he wanted to punch every single hater in the face for making Liam ever feel inadequate.

He's wearing a black jacket over a black shirt that hugged his body in a way that used to make Zayn lose control, but aside from thinking that, he's got shades on too. Zayn watches as Liam looks around the place, of course, looking for him. 

He knows that exact moment Liam spotted him, because a breathtaking smile forms in that beautiful face of his. Zayn's heart jumps. He gives the boy a small wave and then Liam's rushing to the table and the next thing Zayn knows, he's getting up from his seat and meeting Liam in a hug too tight for people who used to date. 

After a few moments, Zayn pulls away and looks at Liam. "Hi."

Liam grins, "Zayn, I've missed you."

"Me too." Zayn says, "sorry it's such short notice."

"Not a problem, I'll be home for a while anyway."

Zayn gestures to their booth, "let's sit? Got you coffee."

"Thanks." Liam nods and he follows Zayn.

"Congratulations." They both say after a moment of silence.

Liam chuckles, "for what?"

Zayn shrugs, "Strip that down's doing amazing."

"Not as amazing as Pillowtalk did. But thank you, Z. Means a lot." Liam teases.

"Knew I was right when I called bullshit at you guys saying there _wasn't any competition._ " Zayn rides in on the joke with a smile.

Liam raises his eyebrows amusedly. "Yeah, we were all out to get each other. _One direction was a fabricated lie!_ "

"Every bit of friendship there was _fake_! Laughs, _fake_! Smiles, fake! Songs, _fake_!" Zayn chuckles.

Liam sips his coffee to hide his grin. "We all hated each other. Wanted to upstage each other all the time." He says mockingly.

"It wasn't until I left that you all finally got that through your heads?" Zayn grins.

"Ha-ha." Liam presses his lips together fondly. "It was lovely, though."

Zayn nods in agreement. "It was magic." 

Liam gives him a small smile. "It was."

"What did you congratulate me for?"

"Everything that's been going on in your life."

Zayn raises an eyebrow at Liam, "you haven't been keeping tabs on me, huh? The generalisation is offensive." He jokes so he doesn't sound a bit hurt.

Liam smiles at him sheepishly. "All I know is you're doing great. That you're _happy_. And that's enough to congratulate you for." He nods to himself when he says _happy_ , as if he's telling himself that too.

"Thanks." Zayn smiles. "I am."

"You deserve to be." Liam nods, "I mean, with - uh, with"

"Yeah." Zayn nods because he knows what Liam means. He's talking about Zayn's relationship. "I'm happy with her, yeah."

Liam nods. "Good, good."

Zayn sucks in a breath. This is getting awkward. "And you? with, um -"

"I am." Liam says, smiling at Zayn, something unreadable in his eyes. "And um, with Bear."

"Haven't met the rascal yet but I already know he's my favourite." Zayn smiles but it falters a bit. He remembers finding out about Bear.

The headlines. 

 

> _Liam Payne's going to be a daddy!_
> 
> _Daddy Direction to be an official daddy?_
> 
> _From daddy direction to DADDY DIRECTION_

The texts he sent.

 

> _Is it true? You gonna be a daddy?_

The texts he received.

 

> _Yeah mate!! Happy for me?_

The reply he wishes he sent. 

 

> _Are you happy?_

And the reply he actually did.

 

> _Absolutely chuffed for you! Congrats!_

That was the last text he sent Liam until last week when he asked to meet up. Zayn doesn't know what he wants to achieve here. A friendship? An apology? Closure? 

"-still want to keep him out of the public eye, you know? I mean, I want him to grow up to be out of the limelight as much as possible. He's still a defenceless baby, Z. And the world sucks, I want to protect him from everything and -"

Zayn cuts him off. "I'm sure you're doing great. I'm sure he loves you very much."

Liam gives him a grateful smile. "Thank you. I know I try my best but it's nice to hear it from someone who isn't your girlfriend or family member."

"Hey." Zayn protests, "you know I was a Payne way before anyone else out of your bloodline was." He says without thinking, causing his cheeks to flush at the implication.

"You were." Liam says though, a contemplating smile on his face. "You think us breaking up was - was for the better?"

Zayn chokes on nothing but schools it with a cough. Liam was always straightforward. That's why he was always the one told by the bosses to answer the hard questions. He can be as frank as you want him to be, which is why some people thought he was the best liar in the bad. That he was rude and didn't think of the things he said before saying them. Maybe Zayn's biased, because he never thought that at all. 

Even when the media tried to put them against each other. It never came across his mind that Liam would ever intentionally hurt anyone. He was insensitive and ignorant, sometimes, the bastard, but he had a kind heart with good intentions. People just need to give him a chance. But in this world? No one ever does. He's stopped giving a fuck years ago. He hopes Liam does the same.

"Zayn?"

"Sorry. Zoned out a bit there." Zayn chuckles. "Caught me off guard, you git."

Liam laughs. Zayn's missed hearing that. He missed a lot of things. "Sorry, but, you know. Since it's been years, we've both moved on, maybe we can talk about it?"

Zayn nods. He understands what Liam means. "At first, it sucked."

"Hmm." Liam hums and gives him a look that says  _damn right._

"It sucked because I thought my whole world just crumbled, Li." Zayn says, chuckling a bit. "I was out the band, but we decided to still be together but when it got too difficult and I brought up breaking up. Fuck, do you know how much it hurt when you didn't protest?"

Liam stares at him with sad eyes.

"When you didn't protest, I knew it was the end." 

Zayn remembers it so vividly. Liam was sat on the couch of his LA home, tired from promoting MITAM. Tired from hiding from the paps because he can't be seen going to Zayn, he just couldn't.

 

> _"I just, I think it's not working out anymore."_
> 
> _"I know."_
> 
> _"I love you, but I - this is hurting us both, Li."_
> 
> _"I know. I love you too, Z."_
> 
> _"But we need to end this, don't we?"_

The look in Liam's eyes after that statement. The kiss they shared after agreeing. The desperate plea of  _can we please be broken up at midnight, can I have you one more night, one last time, can I call you mine for at least another hour, can I please have something one more time, knowing I'll never have it again._

Zayn shakes his head to shake off the memory that still tugs at his heart strings. Thing is, they didn't break up because they didn't love each other anymore. They broke up, because they still did. So much. 

"But we're here now." Liam says, bringing Zayn back to the present. "And you look, better, Z. Better where you are now."

Zayn gulps. Why does he feel like crying? "I always thought we'd end up together." Zayn says, not looking at Liam. "Even after breaking up, I thought, maybe one day, I'll come back or you'll come back and we'd say 'it was always you.'"

Liam's fingertips are on his cheeks in a soothing manner and that's the only time Zayn realises he's shed a few tears. 

"Fuck, this isn't even sad tears, Li. I don't know why I'm crying, it's been years -"

"I cry about us sometimes too." Liam says, "it's okay, Z. It was us. We were, we were dynamite."

Zayn chuckles, wiping away the remnants of his tears. "Dynamite? Really Liam?"

"One direction was magic. Ziam was dynamite." Liam says confidently as if he said the most brilliant thing.

"I guess, I thought I lost you forever." Zayn says, looking up at Liam with wide eyes. "I can lose you as a boyfriend but I can't lose _you_ , Li."

Liam smiles at him fondly. "I can't lose you too, Z. Not a chance."

Zayn bites his lip and grabs Liam's hand across the table. "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too." Liam replies without second thought, as if he knew what Zayn apologised for. Like he apologised for it too.

The rest of the afternoon was spent catching up with his best mate. Two years was definitely too long they talked of their successes and their fair share of insecurities but there wasn't a single tinge of awkwardness anymore. And that made Zayn smile, things'll be okay. He guesses. 

"You really are happy though? Promise?" Liam asks as they start for the exit. 

Zayn smiles. "I am. Promise." He looks up at Liam and holds out his pinky. "You? You promise you're happy too?"

Liam scrunches up his nose in distaste at the childish gesture but takes Zayn's pinky in his anyway. "I promise."

"I love you, Li." Zayn says, pulling Liam into a hug when they get outside. 

Liam squeezes him. "Love you too."

"We didn't work out." Zayn says when they pull away.

"And that's okay." Liam says kissing Zayn's cheek. "You better visit Bear soon, he needs to meet his multiplatinum Uncle."

"You mean Harry?" Zayn fakes offence. 

Liam rolls his eyes. "The Versace model one."

"So you have been keeping tabs on me!" Zayn chuckles.

"Whatever, Z. See you soon?" Liam asks as he starts for his car, Zayn doing the same.

"See you, Li. Take care."

As soon as Zayn gets into his car, he wait until Liam drives away before letting out a breath. He leans his head against the steering wheel. "We didn't make it, and that's okay." He smiles and starts the car. 

**Author's Note:**

> I personally think this was a bit cheesy. I hope y'all dont hate me for all the real life references????? Actually please dont hate me at all hahaha this was purely self indulgent bc of some sad events in my life. Thanks for reading anyway! xxx


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